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02:27 The second part of the feedback formula is going to be giving your data point. Here, you should name specifically what you saw or heard, and cut out any words that aren't objective. There's a concept we call blur words. A blur word is something that can mean different things to different people. Blur words are not specific. So for example, if I say "You shouldn't be so defensive" or "You c..

01:04 There's this part of the brain called the amygdala, and it's scanning at all times to figure out whether the message has a social threat attached to it. With that, we'll move forward to defensiveness, we'll move backwards in retreat, and what happens is the feedback giver then starts to disregulate as well. They add more ums and ahs and justifications, and the whole thing gets wonky really..

01:39 Ask interesting and meaningful questions when you get outside of the office. When I'm traveling the country, every night I'll have dinner with people in the company. And I like to ask questions like "What's your underlying motivation? What's something that's happened this week that meant a lot to you?" And when you go around the table, and people really open up and are able to engage, it s..

www.ted.com/talks/robert_reffkin_5_ways_to_create_stronger_connections 5 ways to create stronger connections In a tech-obsessed culture, it can be difficult to build genuine relationships with people, especially in the workplace. Robert Reffkin shares his tips and tricks for establishing authentic connections on the job. www.ted.com 00:00 So when was the last time that you wrote a handwritten no..

11:05 To convert a ruminative thought into a productive one, you have to pose it as a problem to be solved. The problem-solving version of "I have so much work to do" is a scheduling question. Like, "Where in my schedule can I fit the tasks that are troubling me?" Or, "What can I move in my schedule to make room for this more urgent thing?" Or even, "When do I have 15 minutes to go over my sched..

10:00 My patient Sally is a good example. Sally was given the promotion of a lifetime, but it came with a price. She was no longer able to pick up her daughter from school every day, and that broke her heart. So she came up with a plan. Every Tuesday and Thursday, Sally left work early, picked up her daughter from school, played with her, fed her, bathed her and put her to bed. And then she went..

09:10 Next, when you're working from home, wear clothes you only wear when you're working. And then at the end of the day, change clothes, and use music and lighting to shift the atmosphere from work to home. Make it a ritual. Now, some of you might think that's silly. That changing clothes and lighting will convince my mind I'm no longer at work. Trust me, your mind will fall for it. Because we..

08:11 Cell phones aren't the only way technology is empowering rumination, because we have an even bigger fight coming. Telecommuting has increased 115 percent over the past decade. And it's expected to increase even more dramatically going forward. More and more of us are losing our physical boundary between work and home. And that means that reminders of work will be able to trigger rumination..