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www.ted.com/talks/robert_reffkin_5_ways_to_create_stronger_connections 5 ways to create stronger connections In a tech-obsessed culture, it can be difficult to build genuine relationships with people, especially in the workplace. Robert Reffkin shares his tips and tricks for establishing authentic connections on the job. www.ted.com 00:00 So when was the last time that you wrote a handwritten no..

09:10 Next, when you're working from home, wear clothes you only wear when you're working. And then at the end of the day, change clothes, and use music and lighting to shift the atmosphere from work to home. Make it a ritual. Now, some of you might think that's silly. That changing clothes and lighting will convince my mind I'm no longer at work. Trust me, your mind will fall for it. Because we..

07:21 I got my first smartphone in 2007. You know, the iPhone had just come out, and I wanted a phone that was cool and hip. I got a BlackBerry. 07:30 (Laughter) 07:31 I was excited, though, you know, my first thought was, "I get my emails wherever I am." And 24 hours later, I was like, "I get my emails wherever I am." 07:40 (Laughter) 07:42 I mean, battling ruminations was hard enough when they..

06:14 That's what made me realize that I still loved my work. But ruminating was destroying that love and it was destroying my personal life, too. So I read every study I could find, and I went to war against my ruminations. Now, habit change is hard. It took real diligence to catch myself ruminating each time, and real consistency to make the new habits stick. But eventually, they did. I won my..

05:24 Back when I was burned out, I decided to keep a journal for a week and document exactly how much time I spent ruminating. And I was horrified by the results. It was over 30 minutes a night when I was trying to fall asleep. My entire commute, to and from my office -- that was 45 minutes a day. Totally checked out for 20 minutes during the dinner party at a colleague's house. Never got invit..

04:19 Now, those same studies found that while ruminating about work when we're home damages our emotional well-being, thinking about work in creative or problem-solving ways does not. Because those kinds of thinking do not elicit emotional distress and, more importantly, they're in our control. We can decide whether to respond to an email or leave it till morning, or whether we want to brainsto..

03:30 Now there's a lot of research on how we think about work when we are not at work, and the findings are quite alarming. Ruminating about work, replaying the same thoughts and worries over and over again, significantly disrupts our ability to recover and recharge in the off hours. The more we ruminate about work when we're home, the more likely we are to experience sleep disturbances, to eat..

01:37 For a few terrible weeks, I questioned whether I'd made a mistake. What if I had chosen the wrong profession? What if I had spent my entire life pursuing the wrong career? But then I realized, no, I still loved psychology. The problem wasn't the work I did in my office. It was the hours I spent ruminating about work when I was home. I closed the door to my office every night, but the door ..