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www.ted.com/talks/robert_reffkin_5_ways_to_create_stronger_connections 5 ways to create stronger connections In a tech-obsessed culture, it can be difficult to build genuine relationships with people, especially in the workplace. Robert Reffkin shares his tips and tricks for establishing authentic connections on the job. www.ted.com 00:00 So when was the last time that you wrote a handwritten no..

11:05 To convert a ruminative thought into a productive one, you have to pose it as a problem to be solved. The problem-solving version of "I have so much work to do" is a scheduling question. Like, "Where in my schedule can I fit the tasks that are troubling me?" Or, "What can I move in my schedule to make room for this more urgent thing?" Or even, "When do I have 15 minutes to go over my sched..

10:00 My patient Sally is a good example. Sally was given the promotion of a lifetime, but it came with a price. She was no longer able to pick up her daughter from school every day, and that broke her heart. So she came up with a plan. Every Tuesday and Thursday, Sally left work early, picked up her daughter from school, played with her, fed her, bathed her and put her to bed. And then she went..

09:10 Next, when you're working from home, wear clothes you only wear when you're working. And then at the end of the day, change clothes, and use music and lighting to shift the atmosphere from work to home. Make it a ritual. Now, some of you might think that's silly. That changing clothes and lighting will convince my mind I'm no longer at work. Trust me, your mind will fall for it. Because we..

08:11 Cell phones aren't the only way technology is empowering rumination, because we have an even bigger fight coming. Telecommuting has increased 115 percent over the past decade. And it's expected to increase even more dramatically going forward. More and more of us are losing our physical boundary between work and home. And that means that reminders of work will be able to trigger rumination..

07:21 I got my first smartphone in 2007. You know, the iPhone had just come out, and I wanted a phone that was cool and hip. I got a BlackBerry. 07:30 (Laughter) 07:31 I was excited, though, you know, my first thought was, "I get my emails wherever I am." And 24 hours later, I was like, "I get my emails wherever I am." 07:40 (Laughter) 07:42 I mean, battling ruminations was hard enough when they..

06:14 That's what made me realize that I still loved my work. But ruminating was destroying that love and it was destroying my personal life, too. So I read every study I could find, and I went to war against my ruminations. Now, habit change is hard. It took real diligence to catch myself ruminating each time, and real consistency to make the new habits stick. But eventually, they did. I won my..

05:24 Back when I was burned out, I decided to keep a journal for a week and document exactly how much time I spent ruminating. And I was horrified by the results. It was over 30 minutes a night when I was trying to fall asleep. My entire commute, to and from my office -- that was 45 minutes a day. Totally checked out for 20 minutes during the dinner party at a colleague's house. Never got invit..